M=madness

Somehow I managed to slide back down to the bottom of my rope. Hanging at the end of it for what seemed like ever. I started over again, climbing back up. I was just inconsolable, and I had things to figure out. I said what I needed to say and get off my chest and the reaction was what I didn't expect. Thankfully I didn't get what I expected. Ever lose sight of the plan and get devious? That was me. Devious, doubtful, controlling and conniving. It gets me nowhere.
It took a while, but I worked it all out in my head. In between episodes of The Walking Dead I went over all the negatives. I set aside the positives, because when I want something so badly it's the positives that are in the front of my mind. Then I let the negatives stomp through the positives. Trample them. The bad outweighs the good, cut it loose.
Thanks to Rose and April for being  my sounding boards, reaching out through my self created drama. Their words and their being there mean so much.
I wish I thought of myself what they think of me.
My besties:)
Jill

4/14/12