kick myself

I'm going to need to change my cell number again. On Sunday I was woken to the dogs barking  and the doorbell ringing. This went on an endless amount of time around 2pm. This house, we sleep all day and we are awake all night. In the midst of my slumber, this ringing continues. I open up my bedroom window and then I scream, go away. That doesn't work, and at this point I am thinking it better be the cops or the fire department. It's fat ass baby daddy and his cross eyed two year old, she in her umbrella stroller and he grinning like a retard.  Now, this man would easily have been cussed out in the past but now that someone has seen fit to let him tote a child that he splat out of his loins around town and take custody of (dear lord, prayers welcome for the girl), I was a bit more reserved. He managed to get my cell number out of me and I closed the door. The cell number...I am wondering about this myself.
I broke the number one rule for him, withhold the cell number and protect it at all costs. One...I think I was up for a little game playing and two...I was groggy, half asleep and was not in my right state of mind. He said, 'we need to talk'. I thought I'd finally hear what I have been waiting to hear for the last decade from him, a little phrase like "I have 2 months to live." Something that involves a virulent cancer, but to no avail. He's alive, well, and thinking about losing weight and aiming high for that daddy of the year award with one of his handful of illegitamate children. He's a walking Springer show most days and when the threat level is low, he's at best a walking Maury Povich show. I avoid this dumbfuck like the plague. I have hid from him in the Walmart once-true story.
I did block the phone number from incoming calls, but texting you can't do that.
Sample texts: (spelling his not mine and it is NOT due to autocorrect because autocorrect can spell)
-16 roses 16 years i want you i miss ur blue eyes blue eyeliner i no it sounds crazy many nights many tears i want you i yearn for ur soft lips o mine
-i no i'm nuts but if i dnt say how i feel u will never no

And he needs to remind me of all the good times we spent together (and they were few and far between) asking me if I remember the triller, which he meant to spell trailer. It took me a while to think of what a triller was.

More samples:
-if u love some one bad anoth (enough) worth fighting for
-would love to feel u close in my arms. Ur body close to mine
-We you an i are made for each other

And at one point he writes he has 'it out' and it 'feels good lol'

Dear fucking Lord.
I haven't been with FABD, my son's father, in 11 years, since the boy was born. I kinda got tired of being smacked in the face while I was pregnant. And he raped that girl, which was dropped to lesser charges like indecent sexual assault, which he plead out. He's a true dumb ass, a mistake and one that I avoid at all costs cause he's just a creeper, a dude that doesn't take no for answer, a dude that has weird schemes to get ahead and fails at all of them. A dude that sucks the milk out of the government tit and then works under the table. He's always looking for the easy way out. He's always looking for a handout. He moves from relative to relative til they're sick of him.

Well, the Rican is thankfully locked up at the current time. I doubt he'll like these words of adoration. The Rican is another whole story. His busted arm, his jail time for DUI number two. FABD seeems to think love is worth fighting for. Will it be worth getting knocked out for?

Jill
8/1/12