Rant-a-tant-tant

Well, this has been the day for a scrap heap. I would like to go back to 745am and start all over. The mood isn't helping me much either. I am miserable. I doubt it is hormonal, but there has been no real trigger.
-I am tired of being sick. The seasonal cold has overstayed its welcome. The stuffiness has me in a headlock. I don't need medication. I need this shit to go away. I want to smell again. I am tired of a nagging cough. And OTC meds don't seem to treat it well. I feel no different after taking the mucinex and claritin than I did before I took the mucinex and claritin, which usually do the trick.

-I am fed up listening to Modern Warfare, the gun fire and the 10 year old corpsman that is waging a solid fight on an endless battlefield of blood and muck. No one plays as good as he does (according to him) and he has prestiged (whatever the hell that means) with his weapons made of gold.
"Oh, we just got owned!" I wanna 'own' that xbox right out the freaking window with all the games.

-The 7 year old who is sly enough to finagle a school nurse into believing she is sick. For those of you who are not parents the ever popular tummy ache suckers us and the school bachelorettes of nursing every time complete with fake vomiting episodes that no one sees except for the student herself. And I tell you, what sick child is so sick that she has to leave school and then wants to eat a happy meal? Mine, that's who.

-Is it a full moon? Because that is the strange I feel inside right now. That moody,  all over the map feeling and the brain here has turned to gobbledy-goop. I feel defeated. I feel cooped up. I feel understimulated and underwhelmed. I don't want to do the laundry. I don't want clean up from dinner. I feel like there are just not enough hours in the day. I want someone else to do all the stuff that I need to do and then do it every week forever. I would also like to win the megamillions.

We play the megamillions lottery at work every week. Every pay check there are

5 of us that put our 4$ in and play on the one in a gazillion chance to hit the

big time. We have all fantasized about never going to work again. We have all

fantasized about the new life we will have once our check comes in and is cashed.

Know how much we have won?

10$. Divided by 5.

Jealous aren't you?

-Income tax. I had mine done yesterday. I do not like the feeling that as soon as I have the cash in hand I have to pay off last year's debt. There are some people out there who think that just because a bitch is a nurse that she's rolling in dough. Well, bullshit I say. I live pay check to pay check like a lot of other people in the world.

-The school in the morning. Every morning it is a zoo. Over protective parents who cannot leave their child's side until the little devil has been safely ushered through the classroom door. What is worse is the drop off curbside bitch that cannot pull away from the curb until the demon spawn has safely and securely crossed the threshold of the doorway entering the building. What will happen between the curb and the door that would prevent this future generation from getting inside? Nothing. Tell that to mom.

-I am fed up with the fight over homework. Why is there a new math system? Why can't my children learn to carry a one? Why can't they learn how to subtract and multiply and divide like normal people? And why don't they know how to write in cursive? The boy's in 5th grade already. The hater teacher is more worried about the flash drive that I doled out 12$ for. Why does a 10 year old need to learn a power point presentation?  Why do they have to learn highschool math in 5th grade? Or maybe I was slow? All I know is that the kids are learning more than I did at their age. And it is all geared toward state mandated tests, which I could care less about. The kids come home annually with this anxiety about PSSA's and I tell them not to care. Literally, it does not matter one way or another what the state test says. The state tests are a waste of time. All the kids have learned through out their school career so far has been driven toward taking and passing that test. Then the no child left behinders fuck it all up. All that time wasted because the no child left behind doesn't have the mental capacity to learn, like it or not.
-Morning coffee. At the covenience store is usually over a dollar. I got a special e-maila couple weeks ago that stated all coffee, any size is a dollar (holla!) till the first week of February. Why? If they can sell coffee a dollar a cup for a month, then they should be able to do it every month of the year.
-This week insomnia has been good to me. I am not all wound up on endless nerves. I have slept the full 8 as the doctor ordered. I now spend my nights dreaming nonsensical dreams. That is even more nerve wracking. I'd rather be awake. Even though I get the full 8, the dreams are a distraction. And not real memorable. I like my dreams to be vivid and realistic, preferbably with dead family members. Dreaming of the dead is pleasant and strange. I rather like it as I haven't seen the dead in a long time. Dreams will have to do. When I was on chantix, I never had nightmares, which is a side effect and the doc warned me about this in the office. What could be more nightmarish than being awake? I went on so many wonderful adventures while on chantix. I saw and had fun with my grand parents and my father. I went on shopping sprees and boat rides and cruises. I enjoyed every dream, each night a different and well anticipated adventure and I slept well despite the lunacy of lala land. One nightmare about zombie-vampires and I was part of a shelter team that assisted people in hiding from them. Their teeth were intimidating and they were all very animalistic and feral in nature. I woke up thinking, 'what a great movie!' that would make.
Maybe I need to quit taking the little things so seriously? Maybe I should live as though I were in a dream?  A movie? Walk around pretending the cameras are rolling and this is all a reality show or a sitcom? A comedy? A drama? Soft porn? A mix match of all of the above?

Jill
1/25/12