FAwk You Friday

 

850am 'move, bitch! get out da way'I felt like Ludacris and I swear I morph into him every time someone is in my way. Ok, bitches, just park in a spot. It may not be the spot you really want, but Fuck you. It's not Christmas and spots aren't presents. Park it and walk to the door like my fat ass.   I swear if I had an old beater, a hooptie, I'd slam into people on purpose. 

Fawk You, Maroon 5. Mick fuckin Jagger is a god dam legend. You, M5, DO NOT have moves like Jagger. You will never be the Monster that the fucking Stones are. Not even on your best day with your best album. You're skinny but you ain't Jagger skinny. You do not have Jagger Swagger by a long shot and I wanna vomit when I hear you sing that song.

Fawk you, Puerto Rican. The reason you are not living with me anymore is so I don't have to see your fuckin face or hear your fuckin voice anymore. 

'you have my heart trapped, mami chula'. I want you forever till we are dead.'

I am fucking swooning over that one. 

Wouldn't you?

Fawk you, Call of duty modern warfare 3. If I hear your 'title' once more, I'll jump  into your stupid game and let the fuckin zombies eat me.

Fawk you xbox360,  It's like crack for a 10 year old. 

And that goes for your xbox live 

and the wireless router I have to hear about on a daily basis. 

I want xbox live, mom.

Did you get the router today, Mom?

I need that router , Mom.

I wanna play xbox live with my friends , Mom.

Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.

X-box, Mom....Mom. Mom. Mom.

"I will drive to to so&so's house, boy, and you can sit next to

so&so and play live in person."
"It's not the same, Mom. You just don't understand, Mom."

Fawk you, mom's stuffing. I made it as if it was out of her kitchen crafty hands. Once. 

One time and that was three weeks ago. I have since attempted to recreate the deliciousness three more times. And it tastes like wet shit. My dogs won't even eat it. WTF am I doing wrong? I tricked their taste buds one time and got compliments like, 'that tastes great. that tastes just like mom-mom's. that is the best stuffing you ever made. make it again.'

Make it again. Do you know how often I hear that? I have heard it once cause I'm no chef. It was like seeing big foot. You only see him once. And you never will again.

Finally a big BIG Fawk You to Blogger. It would be nice if it was a secure site. All the little malware items detected that malware bytes and McAfee have to quarantine and delete are all from you. Put a condom on, blogger. And I swear it's from all the little couponing, rafflecopter moms. I said it. Get your spam shit off your fuckin pages.

SOM

11/4/11