July, the month from hell

I have been working night shift all month of July. And since the 7th I have had only 2 days off. I set myself up for this and please do not think I am complaining. It was an opportunity I could not pass up. The opportunity to pay may school taxes, all 2714$ worth, on time and before the deadline this year. I have 1000$ saved so far, so I will need 1700$ by the end of August. No problem. I think it's starting to wear on me, however. The hours I have put in plus the bullshit going on at home in my bad relationship has my brain on overdrive. When my brain is on overdrive I get insomnia. This is the worst day of all days to have it. I got up at 2am from a sleep session that went on 11 hours on my sofa. My beat up old sofa cradles me like a mama in her arms. I snuggle up there and sleep literally like a baby. This afternoon I tried like hell to lay down and get a nap on that sofa, but I couldn't. I only got an hour and a half at the most of a nap. It's going to be a long night.

At 930am the staffer at work calls me and asks me if I want to come into work at 3p, leave at 5p, only to return at 11pm. Laughter was all I could muster for her. There are plenty of RN's in that building that can manage 3p-5p just fine. F that.

Then at 945am she calls back and says the night shift supervisor may need a couple more weeks off and am I interested in the next 2 weeks? F that. She's milking that medical leave of absence for all that's worth. I am going away next week, then I will think about the week thereafter. I think if I agreed to it my children may try to hurt me in my sleep.

The bad relationship stressor is a whole different post and I suppose I will make one. My next day in the 30 day blog challenge is to write a letter to someone. That will be my letter. My life is so fucked up right now. My relationships are a mess on all fronts. In fact, there is a list of people that could use a good letter from me.

Next week I will be offline unless I post on mobile. I am taking a much deserved break from life here and I am escaping westward. I will be escaping with my children where I can sit pool side for 3 straight days and maybe be a tourist for a few hours. I got my google shit all printed out and I am ready to go. I have been climbing that mountain of laundry for the last couple days and have reached the mountain top! Clothes and a few odds and ends need packing, but otherwise I am ready. The only thing missing is Tuesday.

SOM 7/21/11