Get Your Challenge On! Day #3

Get your Challenge on...10 day plan/self acceptance
Listing all of my flaws would be a form of self torture. For me it's always much easier to point out everyone else's flaws. You drink too much. You spend your money carelessly. You are way tall. You yell too much. You are obnoxious. All the character traits we point out in other people are the traits we either envy or disgust. Why is it always easier to fix other people's problems than it is to fix my own? I have a tendency to look away from my own problems. I avoid looking at them and dealing with them. It's easier to deny them than it is to lay them out on the table and put a plan into action to fix them. My major concern with myself is my irresponsibility with money. I'd prefer to play than pay. I know I have debt and eventually I will pay it off. It's easier to spend than save. Loving myself would mean that I would be embracing an ugly, fat little troll that is flat broke and whines a lot. I am pessimistic. I am a glass is half empty person. I follow the easy route. I go with what is safe. I need a routine, a very inactive routine. I like to know what to expect. I don't ruffle feathers. I don't cause trouble. I also don't confront the issues that face me. My irresponsibility with money. My horrible interpersonal relationships.I turn people away and push people away rather than confront the problems between us as individuals (mom, boyfriend, children, coworkers). I am a push over, too easy, slow to anger and slow to get excited. I lack excitement. I take everything in stride, cross bridges when I get there. I'm starting to backslide. I am starting to regress instead of progress. I need to write out day number 2 of the challenge and read it every day. I need to think positive and engage people positively. Today was a particularly bad day and everyone has them. I met up with walls every step I took today. I was distant and withdrawn attempting to think of alternative ways to hurdle those walls. I am used to dealing with things negatively, so coming up with alternatives is a challenge for someone like me. But I think I can do it. I think I can turn things around for me. I just need to think.
SOM 5/2/11