Dashing thru the No

I'm just not feeling the holiday this year. I don't know what it is and I have tried to figure it out, but have come up empty. I have decorated inside the house, the tree is up in all its red and white glory and the decorations are on the wall and the candles are out and occasionally lit and the snowmen that I love so much are scattered about the floor, standing around in a frozen scene of play. I have wrapped half the gifts and have completed all my shopping minus the gift cards I usually purchase for my girls and guys at work. From all appearances the place is ready to rock n roll. I am just tired. I am sleepy and feel blah humbug. I am not downing Christmas by any means. I am looking forward to the new year. Maybe it's my anemia?
I am tired of getting up int he morning. I am tired of fighting with the kids to get out of bed in the morning. Maybe we all need a break from getting up at a scheduled time. Maybe we just need a break from the norm?
I have considered that Christmas sucks for me because I am left out of the gift giving. I may get a crappy gift and it's usually a day late. I have considered that I don't get to open up gifts on Christmas morning as a sore spot. The joy of giving, let it overwhelm me, but I would like the joy of giving to overwhelm someone else this Christmas and get me decent gifts. I don't think that is selfish, rather it's expected that a person that lives with 4 other people at least garner one gift. Last year I was pissed. Will this year repeat itself? My girls at work take care of me, I will say that. So I do not go completely and entirely giftless, but the family thing makes me mad. All I do all year long goes unappreciated.
That would be only part of it. I don't usually feel this wiped out in the middle of December or late in December.
I could also be bummed because I lost the megamillions 636 million jackpot. I was looking forward to a Christmas in a log cabin with a fire in the fireplace and snuggling up with my laptop on the sofa watching said fire burn. Yes, my fantasy cabin would come equipped with Wifi and a strong signal at that. Ahh, Christmas fantasy dashed, dammit. 

On a high note I have started looking at hotel rooms for our annual President's day trip to Gettysburg for our Seafood and Prime Rib buffet at the General Pickett's buffet. Fingers crossed for a warm February.

This morning I am looking forward to breakfast with friends. 

Jill
12/20/13