My end of the world water

"Hey, Mom. Why do you have so much water? Is that your end of the world water?"
"Yeah, boy. It is."
"If there is a zombie apocalypse, how are we going to carry all that water, Mom?"
"Carry it where, Zack? We're not carrying it anywhere."
"Oh my god, Mom! Do you plan on staying here?! If the zombies come, we're going to stay here?"
"Where else would we go, Zachary? I have a plan."
"Well, that's a stupid plan...staying here. We need to leave here, go to the woods, find a water source, go to the schools and break in. Stock up on our military arsenal gear, like weapons. "
"Hey, I'm staying here. I'll put you down. Out of your misery when you stumble back from the woods in a zombie state."

Why do the people in this house have a problem with my water?
So I Have a couple dozen gallons saved. Taking up too much space, they say. They don't mind using my end of the world water to make kool aid, do they?
I Have a very clear picture in my head of what the end of the world shall look like and it has NOTHING to do with zombies. Although finding my Daryl Dixon may be fun and exciting, I wanna stay home and weather the apocalypse like a trooper. I live in my house from day to day. I am comfortable here. Why on earth would I Let zoms or anything else chase me out of my home? My neighborhood? My yard? They can claw at my chain link fence for all I care. I am bugging in.
I can filter rain water. I can cook squirrels on a grill. I can live on white rice and beans like a boss.
I have a plan. As long as that pans out for me, then why leave?
This is my home. I ain't leaving to wander the woods. What woods?  We don't live near woods.
There's a wild life reserve a mile away with all the animals you could shake a stick at. I'll eat them. There's water there too. I'll filter that too.
Staying alive...it's not zombies I will have to worry about.
It's people. Depraved and amoral people. I have an idea for that too. It has nothing to do with the amount of fucking water I have or the size of my veggie garden. Money will be worth nothing. It doesn't involve as much violence as it does a few choice luxuries that people cannot live without.

1.Coffee
2.Tobacco
3.Marijuana
4.Alcohol
5.Pussy
6.Tampons


The way I see it, if I corner the market on just one or all of those things, plus a couple weapons. I will survive. 

When the end of the world comes, I'll be ok.

Jill
6/5/13