I have been tossing around what to do with this blog of mine. I am thru with the hops and the give aways. I regret falling into that trap. Not that I was particularly writing for the sake of others, rather some of the hops were fun. I found some delightful little blogs and I occasionally do still visit some. The majority are CRAP. Among those crap blogs sits my dusty and pointless blog. Have I figured out my life yet? No. I have done a lot of soul searching. I have broken up and made up and broken up and made up. I have asked myself questions, been asked questions and answered them. I still am the same cynical, sarcastic, shallow, dirty-minded, caustic bitch that I always have been. Is it all habits that need breaking or am I just a simple person with a backward personality?
I am still fat. I am still a nurse. I am still a mom to the same 2 1/2 kids. I still drive an orange car. I still don't like my job and I still love the beach. I am ME and I like me. Why change or expand on that? I am not at the end of my rope anymore thanks to generic form Lexapro, which doesn't work as well as name brand Lexapro.
Let's catch up.
Recent irksome holiday #1 was Christmas. No one bought me presents. That lyric from Eminem's song stuck with me all that day. I finally understand what 'a fuck you for Christmas' means. It means fuck you, plain and simple. Christmas morning my girl says to me, "Mom, why don't you open some of your presents?!" "Well, darling, find me some and I will. Cause I don't see any." "Oh, here's one mommy. It says 'to the world's #1 mom from Santa." So I open this present with all the sickening enthusiasm I could muster for her because it was a Stewie Griffin throw blanket that I had wrapped and couldn't remember which kid I had bought it for. I had had a sinking feeling that I was going to be left out of the festivities, so I labeled that one for me. I made the world's best fried chicken Christmas dinner cause if I ate one more bite of turkey, I'd gag.
Recent irksome holiday #2 was New Year's. All I had planned was laying on my couch watching the Season 3 marathon of The Walking Dead. I wanted to cuddle up under my Stewie Griffin throw blanket in the twinkling lights of my tree and the flicker of my smelly Xmas candles, watching tv. I was met with a less than thrilled response to that from the Rican who imbibed enough Bacardi for 2 Ricans and then acted like a selfish, stupid fool.
I spent my holiday season home with sick children and sick me. We didn't necessarily have the flu, but we were knocked down like dominoes for a month after Thanksgiving. Colds and snotty noses and sneezes and low grade fevers and 2 bouts of strep throat with one bilateral ear infection on top of all that. My fridge looked like an Amoxicillin factory. The floor was littered with used tissues cause none of them know where any of the trash cans are in ANY ROOM OF THE HOUSE.
Ringing in the new year with yet one more break up seems natural as I told him to get the fuck out. He refused to go. As usual. We have been thru worse. We have been thru better. As long as he understands that he's a dick, then all's well. Why you mad, Mami? Why you mad? I got a F U for Christmas.
So I'll stay miserable and unphased. I have a plan for something to do to keep myself occupied. I am going to start prepping. That should be fun. Right? Preparing for doomsday. I have 2 plans, but that is another whole blog.
Back to the point. I am at a loss as to what to do with this blog. Shut it down? Continue on my boring bloggy path? I should get back to its point of origin. The reason I made up this silly little blog to begin with...to be a reality tv star. LOL, no. Really it was a vent for the BS and a funny thing for the funny things. A complaint department for the complaints.
My new year's resolution this year was simple. To keep on breathing. That seems simple enough. Continue to enjoy what I like and continue to avoid and not be able to stand the shit that irks me. Sometimes that's the outside world. Sometimes that's work. Sometimes it's the very people I live with. Oh, and continue to smoke and drink coffee. Massive, indulgent amounts of coffee.
Sounds great to me.
Still, what to do? I'll be back.
January 10, 2013
Jill
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