my afternoon with Xbox 360

There is a raging head ache in my tech challenged brain right now. I spent the afternoon on xbox. Some may say, 'lucky bitch!' Oh, no. Quite the opposite.

Yesterday the most anticipated game in all game history was released and we (me, the boy, the girl and the niece) stood 60 deep in modern warfare's line from hell. Yes, we did preorder and it was still that long of a line.

At midnight it was mayhem from what I was told in line. And not only that the boy thought we were staying up late to fetch this and I was allowing him to stay up into the wee hours on the release date gaming. Uh, not on a school night boy.

This ain't 1990 and Bon Jovi tix aren't on sale so mommy's not waiting in any midnight lines. If it wasn't a school night I would have been all for it.

We get home and he runs inside with the most anticipated game in history and...drum roll...it doesn't fucking play! He needs memory space. WTF?! So I had a 10 year old disappointed in front of me.

Today I made it my mommy mission to figure out wtf all this xbox shit meant. I moved the 20" tv onto a table next to the PC and hooked it up to the router via ether net cord. The plugs alone confuckled my non tech brain. I began to get a microsoft headache. With xbox on line and xbox on tv, I went step by step with the help forum like...well...a mom. I paged through screens and moved back and forth and all around the innards of the xbox settings and wifi capabilities till I found my problem source and deleted every fucking saved bit of bullshit the misfits had saved from the day he received the xbox for xmas 3 years ago.

Once that was done things moved smoothely. Xbox help forums fucking rock. Every question a dumb ass tech challenged mom could possibly have is on their forum somewhere. I was impressed with the ease they had this set up.

With my system memory cleared, reset back to factory settings, I magically started getting updates. What this update entailed I have no clue, but it updated. I went so far as to recover my original account thru hot mail, set up all the info on the tv screen and I even learned I have a gametag name (downcastwhale74). Where that name originated is beyond me. I felt like a downcastwhale trust me.

I finally attained the holy grail of screens...the gold member. And painstakingly input all my info, including credit card. And was denied. I went online and attempted it as well. Credit card denied. I was offended. Really! I got that far to face rejection! Oh, hell no. I used that card yesterday to buy freaking skechers! I know 100% fo sho that the card is valid.

And it is.

I said fuck it and turned off the site, unplugged the cord from the router and started playing Call of Duty modern warfare 3. I died 2 minutes in the actual play, fingering buttons and toggle buttons only to be shot dead by who knows while attempting to shoot down a helicopter.

Fuck this. I turned off the whole dam thing and headed to game stop. I bought the wireless router antennae and the game card for a year's membership.

Game stop didn't tell me my credit card was invalid! She took my money, listened to me complain and did it with a smile.

That was my afternoon and it is still not over. I have to hook up the system to the router wirelessly. I have to put everything back in the play room and out of my kitchen.

I'm so freaking frustrated I want to sue microsoft, xbox and all its constituents for mental anguish.

How's your day?

SOM

11/9/11

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