There is nothing I can do for you

Bright and early I wake them up.
Not! Really we get up 35 minutes before school starts.
The boy is standing there holding his belly and says, "Mom, I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"And I guess you wanna stay home from school right?"
These kids and their guts. I just don't get it. Even as a registered nut, I have difficulty differentiating between real stomach issues and their 'I don't feel like going to school' bullshit stories.
So I got him his medicine (gatorade) and directed him back to bed.
He got up and is now on the couch. I guess he thought he was mine crafting all day or face booking the monster yard all day.
So he comes upstairs about three times and peeks to see if I am still on the computer or whether I have gotten my fat ass up and moving yet.
This last time he whines, "Mom, I'm bored."
Bored? Seriously. "Get dressed, you are going to school then."
"Mom, no. I don't feel good."
Then park it on the couch, cause the computer chair doesn't cure your gut.

And in the back of my mind I'm thinking 'maybe it's the toilet water?'
A few days ago his sister pulled the 'best prank ever', according to her anyways.
He asks her for water cause he's too lazy to get up.
She fills the cup with toilet water and watches him drink it, delighted at the thought that she is pulling 'the best prank ever'. When he's finished the water, she fills him in on the secret of her prank.
She's laughing her ass off and he's having a fit.
I gave him the " you'll be fine and she's in trouble" line with the mom look on my face.
Really, she didn't believe she did anything worth being in trouble.
He didn't see it that way.
He'll never ask her for another drink again...guaranteed.
And this is what I deal with on a daily basis. This kind of nonsense.

Which brings me to... "There is nothing I can do for you."
And really there is nothing I can do for him and his upset stomach. As long as the shit's not running down his leg and he's not vomiting up blood and his appendix isn't actively bursting
he must do what the rest of us do. Live with it and drink his gatorade.
The cure, according to the boy, can be found in me getting out of the computer chair.

SOM
10/18/11